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Avoid inflated service charges - be your own repairman!
When that Hi-Tech piece of Ham equipment fails to operate, these six
basic steps will avoid inflated factory service charges, while giving
you the satisfaction of "do-it-yourself" repair at minimal savings.
- Reflect complete confidence as you approach the ailing equipment.
Anyone present will be impressed, and the equipment will mistakenly
think that you know exactly what must be done. When the equipment realizes
that you have enough tools to construct a hydrogen bomb, it should begin
working and you will be credited with the repair. If this step fails,
you should proceed with confidence to the next step.
- Visit your neighborhood library and check out a text book on the
fundamentals of radio theory. Make yourself comfortable close to the
ailing piece of Ham equipment so it can see what you are reading. Proceed
slowly from page-to-page and give the appearance that you are absorbing
the book's content with thorough comprehension. If this deception should
fail to do the trick, proceed to step three.
- This is a drastic step and should only be attempted after step one
and two have failed. This effort should never be tried if your wife
and children are present. After referring to the ARRL Handbook to be
certain you have all the facts, begin reciting Ohm's law to the equipment.
If this is done in an aggressive, and violent manner, the equipment
will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you know something and will
probably attack it while in an unbalanced frame of mind.
- We all know that a poor, or porous solder connection can cause problems
that may be detected by a slight jarring action. This may require anything
from a two- to a ten-foot drop, preferably on a cement floor. Care should
be taken to avoid chipping the cement. Althought this is an approved
diagnostic procedure, it is also a drastic step. If it should fail,
you may advance to step five as an alternative.
- With our infinite technological knowledge of electronic devices,
we may suspect one or more components to be faulty. In keeping with
the do-it-yourself, repair process, we choose to randomly replace a
few transistors, resistors, diodes, capacitors and a tube or two. With
a fragile circuit board removed, and firmly clamped in our shop vise,
we approach our delicate repair with a flaming blowtorch and acid-core
solder. If we didn't know why the radio failed to work prior to step
five, we do now. This takes us to our last step.
- After installing the damaged circuit board, pack the ailing piece
of junk carefully for shipment to the manufacturer. The following not
should be included....
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"Dear Manufacturing Company;"
"This radio is exactly as it was the day I purchased it.
I have followed your operating instructions to the letter, but
it refuses to perform as advertised. Since today is only one day
over the extended warranty, I am returning it so you can repair
the shoddy workmanship, or replace the unit with a new model at
no charge to me. Since I am lacking the technical knowledge and
proper tools, I would not attempt any nature of repair. Therefore,
I must rely on your willingness to address this issue with consideration
for customer satisfaction."
"Sincerely:
Mr. Craf T. Goodfellow, RU1TOO"
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